Thursday, 22 April 2010
Stockholming myself - Day 9
It started out as yet another miserable, wet, grey day today, and both my favourite trousers are in the wash, so I went for something warm but still comfy - my green velvet pants. I always worry, when I wear these, that if I wear them with brown, I look like a tree; or with orange, that I look like a pumpkin plant; or with red, like a Christmas decoration. On the other hand, I often tend to dress all in green, which I sometimes feel is ... dorky. Can you see how screwed my self-perception is?
Anyway, because of my dumb-ass notions, I went for an off-green accompaniment with just a hint of brown, which would still be warm and accommodate my new brown jacket (which you've seen before and therefore will likely not be in any other pics except in the background).
Also in the background: my little Insolent, who currently requires isolation from the rest of the cats. Sometimes I wonder if she's epileptic, because she stares off into space in the middle of licking herself and is genuinely startled when disturbed. Then I wonder if she's bi-polar, because she has these moods in which she just will NOT enter the house. She spent three nights outside, with me leaving the lounge window open so she could at least come inside when no one was in that room. Bolted whenever footsteps were heard. Then came running on the fourth morning, when I opened the door, and yelled at me indignantly for locking her out! Now I know cats can be epileptic, but can they be bi-polar? Or have some sort of personality disorder? The poor thing is the most-bullied in the house - although she was partially responsible because she bullied the kittens when they arrived and now they've turned the tables.
I took the lovely Moosquared out to dinner last night and told her about the project. The one photo of her that everyone adores, she hates; to me she looks somewhat amused but tolerant (as in, "I won't kick your ass right this minute"); to herself, she looks zoned out and stupid. It really is amazing how badly our perceptions of ourselves distort what we see. She's a beautiful woman, but no amount of praise will convince her of that.
Temerity Jane is running the Stockholming Myself project and I figured, why not join? I hate having photos taken, so maybe this will force me to get rid of the rictus grin and lack of eye contact. TJ says: It's looking at yourself every single day until you like what you see – either through change or through acceptance. Go check out TJ's Stockholming page and visit the other players!