Sunday, 21 November 2010

So lame it needs crutches

SMS conversation between @SureTyab (Deafboy) and I today: 

ST: When Gandal found Merry and Pippin they had an entourage. They'd had hours of entertainment ... boom tish ... courtesy of Adventure Girl. 
ST: Merry and Pippin didn't realise that the forest was sentient.
Y: We're going to have to rip out her entrails for that.
ST: Woo-hoo! Shall I stop her entirely? 
Y: Man. That doozy just gave M enteritis.
ST: Glad we could peak his enterest.
Y: Hey! 'Peek' not peak. The prospect of rapping you both over the knuckles is quite enticing.
ST: well after their harrowing flight through the 'peak' I thought it pertinent.
Y: Your last joke was almost piquant. Actually, it was the quintessential essence of L-squared lameness. 
ST: That you would mock our importent entitity with such an indifferent answer makes me wonder if its a portent to our victory.
Y: Do not be so blatent in your grasping for the attainment of victory. You have not yet presented a means of circumventing our triumph. To us your victory would be abhorrent and quite likely inspire resentment were we to be put in a position to have to rent our clothes. 
ST: We laugh in the face of your lamentable attempt to dwarf the word wizardry that we have orchestrated. Only out of hobit would one such as you think to entice victory from the maw of defeat. 
ST: Not that we are being pedentic or anything. 
Y: As entertaining as it might be for you to imagine that you could spin a web of dissent and rout our fellowship, you are merely proving your aragorns. Shirely it is obvious that there is precious little you can do to dent our enthusiasm for this engagement. 
ST: While the content of this tournament has been a testament to your will it is clear that the little folk are not entirely certain of the route that will lead to mt doom, and release them from this predicament. But come samwise I'm sure it will all work out. 
Y: It is clear that we need to call in a ranger to deal with the extent of your tomfoolery, e'en whilst we have been running rings around your wordplay. Were we to present a call to battle from the hilltop, yeah, the sting of our entanglement would surely pierce you to the quick, for our all-seeing eye is everywhere and we are able to undermine you at every step of the way. 
ST: Considering the word 'lameness' was used in your defence earlier this dark eve, I would say that rings would not be the word I would use, since short cuts and corners are not commonly found in things that are round. Now as to the matter of fairies and flights of fancy we are ardent that whilst you rush around barefooted in the woods, we will soar over and above thine heads to peck at your evil eye and send you screaming from the top of your tower.
Y: Ah, I see, now you must resort to tearing asunder the bonds of friendship with insinuations and accusations. Do no be so intransigent, but seek guidance in the grey, Belike, the web of your own tanglefooted journey through the darkness has been the result of too much brandywine, causing these wormtongued pursuits. Forsooth, fairies? The fae are not to be found in the deep or the middle.  
Y. And now we must entreat your patience to the last, for slumber beckons and we must away to the shadows. 
ST: Go forth to the shadows, you knights of darkness, for we know where we stand in the light and glow that is the eternal sanctuary of those that have slain those that seem self assured, but in actual fact are sipping from the bottle which they choose to accuse us of. So slumber sweetly, you silly Tooks. 

I love my nutball friends, f'reals.

4 comments:

  1. Yes ... sadly, I am so hung up on the 'peek/peak/ controversy that I realised too late. That was where 'piquant' came from. Too lame?

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  2. Ha ha... I was just so excited to find one tiny piece of that exchange that I understood! You have some weird shit going down with that boy.

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  3. If you think Lauren didn't play a major role in that conversation, you are sadly mistaken! In fact, I do believe she was the instigator ...

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